Yesterday I had one of those "Aha" moments....you know when something in your life finally becomes clear to you. In this case, the Holy Spirit really convicted me that up until my beautiful baby boy came along, my life was utterly self-centered. I (Amy) viewed everything through the lens of "me." Everyday was evaluated by whether or not I accomplished what I wanted to do, every decision was based on whether or not it made me happy, every relationship was based on what I got out of it, etc, etc. I was just shocked to discover the extent of my self-centeredness...and how so much of my frustration with parenthood (and honestly, at times, my own child) is caused by my inability to look beyond my own desires.
Strangely, this realization that I need to do some serious repenting was so liberating! I can understand where my frustration stems from and I can work to combat that, with the Lord's help. It was just a huge shift in my mindset....I'm so thankful for a God who doesn't give up on you and blesses you with revelations like this just out of the blue!