10 lbs. 7 oz!

I can't believe some women birth babies that big! It's taken Gus nine weeks!

Now that he's holding his head up more, we've tried sitting him in his Bumbo seat. We've heard this seat is a must have for parents, so we are looking forward to figuring out how best to use it. Overall, Gus is doing really well. He's still really healthy; beginning to smile a lot; starting to look around; and sleeping longer at night (yes!). We've really had a lot of fun the past week or so.

Gus IV and V

Aha!

Yesterday I had one of those "Aha" moments....you know when something in your life finally becomes clear to you. In this case, the Holy Spirit really convicted me that up until my beautiful baby boy came along, my life was utterly self-centered. I (Amy) viewed everything through the lens of "me." Everyday was evaluated by whether or not I accomplished what I wanted to do, every decision was based on whether or not it made me happy, every relationship was based on what I got out of it, etc, etc. I was just shocked to discover the extent of my self-centeredness...and how so much of my frustration with parenthood (and honestly, at times, my own child) is caused by my inability to look beyond my own desires.

Strangely, this realization that I need to do some serious repenting was so liberating! I can understand where my frustration stems from and I can work to combat that, with the Lord's help. It was just a huge shift in my mindset....I'm so thankful for a God who doesn't give up on you and blesses you with revelations like this just out of the blue!

The little dude in the nude

Some bath-time fun thanks to dad!

Well, just wanted to give everyone a brief update. We have really appreciated everyone's comments, advice, prayers, encouragement, etc!! We have been doing better the last few days. I (Amy) have started letting Gus hang out in his carrier (front pack...great suggestion J. Hitch!) for a lot of the day and that seems to be helping. He is able to sleep for much longer periods of time, and I can get stuff done around the house! So far I've watered our yard, vaccuumed, put away dishes, and much more...all with a peacefully sleeping baby! It's like a whole new world for us.

We actually are currently on our first "vacation" with the little man in North Carolina. Scott's company has a yearly staff retreat that we've enjoyed for the last 4 years. So far, it's been a breeze....except my expanded diet here doesn't seem to be agreeing with Gus very well. But that's a small price to pay for 4 days away in the mountains!!

Tough Days And Nights...Part II

We've had another rough few days. We have heard again and again that everyone should settle into a routine by around six weeks, but we're past that now. We're done expecting that there is some magical mark where life starts to even out a little bit. Obviously this is our first go at being parents, so it's difficult to know if Gus is difficult; if we're doing something wrong; if we're not just adjusting to this huge change well. There are so many variables. I (Scott) have talked with one person in particular about some of our struggles and I always get the feeling from him/her that we're just overreacting and that Gus is, well, a baby and that we shouldn't expect more than we do. I've resented that a little, because each baby and each situation is different. How could they possibly know what's it's like for us? Maybe, however, he/she isn't as far off as I'd like to imagine. Maybe we doe expect too much; maybe this is normal; maybe we're over educated; maybe we've read too many books; maybe babies just cry and cause havoc in what may have been your perfect little life. We don't know. All we do know is that parenthood is, by far, the most difficult thing that we've ever done and we can't wait to get past this newborn stage. If you ever hear us say we miss these days, call us on it because we'd be lying.

Despite my tone, in the grand scheme of things we're guessing that Gus is a pretty good baby. I don't mean to make him out to be a terror. We think that he's happy; he doesn't have an extreme case of colic (you know, the kind you read about or hear from someone who's trying to top someone else's story); he nurses pretty well (except when he falls asleep); he doesn't spit up cronically; he often sleeps well at night; etc...etc...etc. Not only is he probably pretty good, but he's so darn cute. Most importantly, he's healthy. As a parent at this stage, that has to be the greatest gift of all.

As trying as it has been, the situation has been another picture of the Gospel for me. Gus sure does drive us crazy. I hate the way he wears on Amy some days; the way he makes her cry; the way he makes her mad; the way he demands all of her time and attention...and for what? A smile here and there? There aren't many moments where we can just sit and enjoy him. There's always something to do or there's always something we're trying to get him to do. At this stage, there's a whole lot of take and very little of the give on his part. I know it's not about what he does for us, but...I'm rambling. The point is that we love him immensely despite how we often feel simply because he's ours. Isn't that the way it is with us and Jesus? Obviously so. We bring even less to God's table and yet He loves us, simply because we're His. Amazing. A good lesson for me.

We'd sure appreciate it if you'd keep us in your prayers. Especially pray for Amy as she's on the front line all day and she's so worn down. Pray that God would grow us into the people He wants us to be through this. Pray that we would love each other well. Pray that we would be incredible parents to Gus.

On a postive note, here's one of the best pictures I've taken with the new camera. Great, isn't it? I love the subject matter (ha!). I like that it's fairly monotone. I like that Amy looks a little tired, but also kind, loving and committed. (Couldn't imagine life with out you, Frau. Gus, get it together! Know that we love you, though, so much!)

Advice

Dear Faithful Blog Readers:)

I have decided to lay aside my arsenal of baby books (they fill up an entire shelf on Gus' bookcase!) and ask for advice from people I know.

Here's the scoop:

Gus has suddenly decided to resist nap-taking in all forms! We used to have a routine of sorts down....eat, play, diaper change, swaddle, rock, a few protesting noises and then down into the crib, drowsy but awake. He might fuss a little,and need to be picked up a time or two again, but he usually would go to sleep.

Now as soon as I start to swaddle him, he starts to cry. He won't consistently take a pacifier. If he does fall asleep, the last two days he has only stayed asleep for about 30 minutes or so. He also has been waking up more at night, like the old days. I had gotten used to more sleep so I've been pretty crabby the last few days.

Anyway, I am confused and frustrated again and very unsure about what to do. We seem to get stuff figured out and then it all implodes. Scott and I both feel like Gus is old enough to graduate from his newborn routine of holding and rocking, etc. to go to sleep, and we really want him to get into good habits. But we're not sure what to do, and how, and when.

We tried letting him cry himself to sleep this afternoon while Scott was home for lunch. It only took 5 minutes and he was asleep. 30 minutes later, however, and after Scott was gone, he was awake again. I tried to let him cry it out later in the afternoon, by myself, and he was still screaming when I went back in 15 minutes later. It just broke my heart...he was so upset and had little tears on his face. I cried afterwards just as much as he did, I think.

So, anyway, I feel like a weak mom or something and am afraid that I will be letting him get into bad habits. But then I think, maybe it's just a growth spurt, and I should nurse him like crazy. I just don't know what he wants.

So for all of you with kiddos, please feel free to weigh in and let us know what has worked for you! Thanks....we appreciate your support. This parenting thing is a lot harder than we had expected!! Prayers would be great, too.

Taking It In

Gus is certainly growing up. He smiled (intentionally) at Scott for the first time a few weeks ago...at least we think it was intentional. On Monday, however, we know it was intentional. It was great! We're looking forward to more of those interactions! It will make tough days (LIKE TODAY) easier to bear.

Gus has also been checking out his mobile (yes, he graduated to his crib this past weekend) and his...well, I'm not even sure what to call it...play mat...can't remember. Anyway, the pictures will show you what I'm talking about. Very attentive, isn't he? We see genius in him. No doubts. Oh...one more thing. He's also working on figuring out how to suck his thumb. A few more weeks and he'll have it. Again...genius.

Lizard Boy

2 of 2. This is the other post I found in the "drafts" folder. He was 6 weeks old in this picture. I guess we were still going crazy at that point. Guess that explains why we never got around to posting this!

B & W

We finally made time to take a few family pictures. The last picture taken of the three of us was the day that Gus was born...6 and 1/2 weeks ago! Gus is drawn to light of any kind, so we had a hard time keeping him from looking west towards the setting sun. Oh well. At least it's a start. (Thanks, Longs, for the visit, the food and the photography work!)

So much to do, so little time....

Gus V has been busy growing and exploring his world....there's so much to see and learn about for a 6 week old!

Checking out his pacifier....look quick, this may be the only time he does this!

Looking at his Daddy's cool photos on the wall...

Enjoying his bath ritual: warm water, lots of bubbles and a toasty, straight from the dryer dragon/alligator towel to hang out in afterwards...

No wonder he has been sacking out for long hours (up to 4 or 5 in a row at night!!)